Bisaya Bloggers

i hate ust. know why?

because all their players look so nice and friendly and are really good at basketball. there is jervy cruz and dylan ababou who flash those winsome smiles that just makes one all motherly and think... "oooooh! oversized grade two children... how cute." or that japs cuan looks so much like barkada trip's bok. or that mirza, the rookie, looks so much like a young severus snape (and i like snape). or that allera is just so my type.

i hate ust because there isn't anyone to dislike in the team. there isn't anyone to throw vile cuss words at. they ARE good. but they are nice. it's no fun making fun at them because it simply feels evil. the only thing i can think off is calling them the UST jebras because their uniform uses black stripes on white which is no way a tiger, but a zebra or a jebra if you are from bohol which i'm not but it sounds funny so there.

last thursday was already nerve-wracking for me, with a paper due the next day. but instead of starting on it, of course, i had to watch the ateneo-ust game. wearing my nice and soft ANG SARAP MAGING ATENISTA shirt (c/o tat and nin). of course.

and so quarter after quarter, i saw my team pummeled by the jebras... i ached seeing them fumble with the ball... i hated seeing shots miss the ring while the yellows just stabbed us with threes and twos... and i resented the fact that i could not dislike jervy cruz... and more irked that i wanedt to pinch dylan's cheeks...

and then the fourth quarter came... i think it was my jai-namite who started pumping life back into the team. of course, everybody else did a great job especially chris tiu who has been using his smarts the entire game. i was getting that wonderful feeling of "kaya to!"

and even during the last minute when ust got their lead back at 69-70... with less than 12 seconds to go, i think... "kaya to!" my heart was beating fast, my hands linked with jan's, like the rest of the team on the bench... the UST was defending real hard... from jai to ford who was double teamed... to kirk long who looked unsteady but still had to take that last shot... as he was about to release the ball... i thought to myself, "there will be a miracle! i know it!" and there it was... what seemed like an awkward shot went in! clean and clear!

we won the damn game! almost killed me getting there... but we did it!

i know, i know... it's a regular game. but hey... for most ateneans, every uaap basketball game is a championship game. we aren't called ateneo's 6th men for nothing.

i think i can conjure an patronus charm easily thinking of that last second...

this dream that came true,
a prayer answered,
a long wait,
a long time,
tomorrow is here.

keep the fire burning,
see it through their eyes,
though you may see nothing but glum,
turn it to gleam,

dangerous minds is not only a movie after all,
reality is so much more,
it cuts you through the core,

tears may fall,
as you lower your head
to welcome a day of defeat,

but,
keep the fire burning,
keep the fire burning,
pass it on...

*****
i am missing home so much =( i miss riding the jeepney every night even if it's uncomfortable. i miss coming home to the laughter of zaila, ayn and alex. i miss eating adobo, paksiw na pata and sinigang. i miss the simple pleasures that davao spoils me with...a beautiful scenery, the picturesque view of mt. apo in the morning, the sea - an extension of myself. i miss the long walks i take to the pink sisters convent. i miss my nanay and tatay. i miss seeing them together still so in-love with one another after all these years. i miss my dog. i miss my tiny room. i miss everything about my country, my heritage...

My work requires a lot of staple wires. I wish I could just plaster them into the mouths of those who I want to shut up but all I can manage is to stack the removed ones from copious papers into a makeshift container from a transparent sign pen case. I have carefully gathered them in such a way that the wires make up half of the container. The other half is filled with paper clips.

I can remember the first time I decided to make a big deal of stacking it up just for the heck of it. Kidding, I told myself that if I am able to fill up half of the rectangular case, I would decide to get married and have kids. The container is now filled to its brim but it can still accommodate more staple wires. I find it cute everytime I pull up a few wires and the whole thing clings on it like falling people off a cliff. It's like a magnet with no magnetic force. I thought of it as just a mere kiddy diversion. The kind of thing I find wonder and amazement despite its utter lack of sensibility and point. Kind of Wes Bentley in American Beauty filming an empty cellophane or paper bag being blown away by wind because he is just filled with wonder. And nobody knew where he's getting at and nobody gave a fuck.

Today is supposed to be my last day in the office. August 31 is the date I set in my resignation lettter. They say I can extend for a few days to a week, but that's not the point. Struck with that eccentric sudden blow of amazement, I now realize what the filling up of staple wires mean. I now know what those staple wires are. It's weird but I know everybody does not get that kind of epiphany everyday. From a bunch of stacked-up staple wires at that. Crazy town here I come.

SHE who is always remembered by lots of people who loved and respected her. SHE who is very pretty and beautiful and kind hearted. She who treats all people equally despite from his status as a princess she always loved the poor and needy. Hope I can still meet someone who is mostly like SHE.

Top 10 wealthiest states

Here's where the median household income is highest

State Income
Maryland $65,144
New Jersey $64,470
Connecticut $63,422
Hawaii $61,160
Massachusetts $59,963
New Hampshire $59,683
Alaska $59,393
California $56,645
Virginia $56,277
Minnesota $54,023

Source: U.S. Census Bureau

The 10 poorest states

The states with the lowest median household income

State Income
Montana $40,627
Tennessee $40,315
Kentucky $39,372
Louisiana $39,337
Alabama $38,783
Oklahoma $38,770
Arkansas $36,599
West Virginia $35,059
Mississippi $34,473

Source: U.S. Census Bureau

Zyb, a web service that provides free online phone data backups, has launched its new version with a better website interface and several new features, including social networking through phone contacts and micro-blogging.

I find Zyb a useful service and use at least once a month to make sure I have an off-site backup of my contacts list.

My primary backup of phone data—contacts, messages, and calendar items—is in my personal computer. I use Float’s Mobile Agent not only to manage my phone, a Sony Ericsson K750i, and send messages with it but also to archive messages and back up my contacts database.

NEW ZYB SERVICE. The website now offers social networking via phone contacts and micro-blogging.

Zyb, however, provides an easier backup solution that’s also more convenient. The website allows you to store all your contacts online and synchronize it with your phone. If you add another contact in your phone, it will be uploaded into your Zyb account once you synchronize the data. The service reminds you at least once a month to synchronize your data to make sure your Zyb account has the latest version of your phone contacts.

(more…)

Palakasan is over, it also means bumming time is over too. *sob* just when im getting used to it. I have tons of school work swirling around but its one of those lazy days where they just stay that way. swirling. *whoosh* exams too are just looming overhead. *dread*

anyway, I have spent most of the past week watching Pinoy movies and surprisingly i have enjoyed watching them. especially the romantic ones [i.e you got me, you are the one]. heheh, they're opening the hopeless romantic in me...again...*boo* eh, ganito talaga eh..im now having a tony-sam overload..i must admit hindi ako malaking fan nang tandem nato pero nakilig ako sa mga "kiligable" scenes at tumawa sa nakakatawa. winner din ang buko parts. quote nalang ako nang quote ng lines..i couldn't stop quoting! but this is my favorite...




daog jud!^^v

Weeeew.. as i do my weekly readings at my favorite site INFOWORLD, i see this interesting story they made..about an email hacking which hits embassy all over the world...hmm..interesting, right? here are the details:

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Usernames and passwords for more than 100 e-mail accounts at embassies and governments worldwide have been posted online. Using the information, anyone can access the accounts that have been compromised

Computer Sweden has verified the posted information and spoken to the person who posted them. The posted information includes names of the embassies and governments, addresses to e-mail servers, usernames and passwords. Among the organizations on the list are the foreign ministry of Iran, the Kazakh and Indian embassies in the U.S. and the Russian embassy in Sweden.

Freelance security consultant Dan Egerstad posted the information. He spoke openly about the leak when Computer Sweden contacted him...more...

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Matthew 25:14-30 1 Thes 4:9-12/Ps 98:1,7-9 Well done, my good and faithful servant. Since you were faithful in small matters, I will give you great responsibilities. Come, share your master’s joy. (Matthew 25:23) The little one has will be taken, But those who dare will be given more; Be worthy of what God has given, And see how He’ll multiply your store. Jesus [...]

JOLO ISLAND, Philippines (Mindanao Examiner / 31 Aug) – Jolo is undergoing a major face-lift, literally, shedding its skin of bad news and putting on a new face to once more bring back its lost glory as one of the most beautiful island in southern Philippines.

Jolo Governor Sakur Tan said he is embarking on an ambitious tourism program that will lure travelers to the island, where dive sites, pristine beaches and virgin forest resorts are the main attractions, of course aside from its rich cultural heritage and exotic fruits and fresh seafood and mother-of-pearls.

Tan welcomed the proposal and said the zone will attract Filipino and foreign investors and give livelihood opportunity to many people.

“This is a good proposal. Put up an economic zone and turn the province into a trading hub that will open new gateway to Malaysia and neighboring countries to promote business and tourism,” he said.

Once approved, it shall be managed and operated by the Sulu Special Economic Zone and Free Port Authority (SSEZA) headed by a board of directors.

The SSEZA shall be provided with transportation, telecommunication, and other facilities needed to attract legitimate and productive foreign investments, generates linkage with industries and create employment opportunities for the people of the province, she said.

Tan said he would invite newspaper editors, television and radio reporters to Jolo and see for themselves that there is no truth to all the negative publicity journalists have written about the island.

“We are appealing to the Philippine media to be responsible and write only the truth about the island. We are not a war-torn island as depicted in news articles about Jolo. We are inviting every one to come and visit us and see the beauty of the island we call home,” he said.

Jolo island, known in the Philippines as Sulu province, was once under the Sultanate of Sulu and North Borneo. Although consisting of a mixed community of Muslims and Christians, the Taosugs dominate the Sulu Archipelago.

The Taosugs were among the first Filipinos to embrace Islam as a religion and a way of life. Their traditional religion-political structure is the sultanate. The sultan is the head of all ranks within the sultanate. (Mindanao Examiner)

Officials said at least 89 New People’s Army fighters surrendered on Thursday in the town of Alabel. They yielded dozens of automatic rifles and pistols to the Army’s 66th Infantry Battalion.

Col. Fidel Legiralde Jr., battalion commander, said the surrender of the insurgents were witnesses by Alabel town Mayor Corazon Grafilo and Sarangani Governor Miguel Rene Dominguez.

The insurgents, Legiralded said, pledged their alliance to the government. (Mindanao Examiner)

One day, as he was coming home bringing a sack of banana and nangka peels, he chanced upon a man just a few meters from his house carrying a turkey in his arms. Now the turkey looked very very familiar, while the man of course was not! In our baranggay, nobody wants to get Nong Tering’s ire. He can be a good neighbor but a hell of an enemy. I guess the thief must have known this because he threw the turkey and ran as fast as he could before Nong Tering could react. Nong Tering was lucky. He got his turkey back.

Not all of us could be as lucky enough to get back what we may have lost. I know of a lady named Shirley, who trusted a man named Dan who promised a possible job in Canada for her daughter. Her story turned out to be the usual sob story.

Dan has credentials, he is also a Pinoy, has a staffing agency in Maryland (which boasts of an infinite resources), and the trust of a friend of the family who happens to be a priest. Dan according to the priest-friend gave the assurance that if nothing will materialize with the application, the placement money will be returned. Of course, we all know how it ended. Pffftt…Shirley will never get her hard earned money back.

In the first story the thief was an ordinary man, probably hungry or lazy, and that probably propelled him to steal. But Dan on the other hand, gave the deed a more sophisticated touch which made it more grave. In the society that he moves around, he pretends to be this nice man who supports church projects and other good causes. How pathetic! Hey! Be a MAN and find a fair match, not old ladies who could not fend for themselves.

"Sakit man gud palandongon nga isig ka Pilipino ra sab ang mounay ug ilad sa iyang isig ka Pilipino." Although it is something that has happened to many Filipinos. It is a sad fact that it is still happening to a lot more (one can not say we have learned our lessons). Sadder still is that , eventually it is still going to happen over and over again.

If you travel by air a lot — and especially if you’re always on the lookout for the most inexpensive airline fares — cheapoair is the most recommended Web portal for you.

While other similar online services feature the usual flights search engine, cheapoair’s powerful “Search cheapest flights” engine provides a complete interface for booking your trips. After specifying your airports of origin and destination, you can input other pieces of information that will help you find the perfect flight details. You can even specify multiple hops with different flight dates. And since it doubles as a booking facility, you can also indicate how many companions (adult or children) you will have with you on your flight. (more…)

deadline ng assignment august 31.

sinubmit ko10:47PM august 31.

crammer ako nung college. pero never ever akong na-tense ng ganito katulad ng pagkapraning ko ng mga nakaraang dalawang linggo. %&*#$@@!

hay naku. isang buwan pa. isang buwan pa. ayiiiii.

The old PTA Park, as everyone in Davao should’ve noticed by now, has undergone a major renovation, and is due to be completed in December this year. It’s so named because of its having been the grounds used by the Parents and Teachers Association of Kapitan Tomas Monteverde High School way back when. If I’m not mistaken, the Association office had such a huge “PTA” sign, and so people started calling the place that way.

Right smack in the heart of downtown Davao, the new park, as before, will offer residents and visitors a place to unwind, relax and take in the city’s sights and sounds. The nearly 4-hectare park is nestled in the center of 3 hotels (The Apo View, Casa Leticia and Royal Mandaya Hotel) and numerous restaurants. Once finished, I imagine it’s going to be the perfect place for a quick break during weekdays, and for longer, leisurely strolls during weekends. (more…)

Tan met with the island’s 18 police chiefs in Jolo town and told them to step up the government’s anti-drug campaign and at the same time arrest owners of illegal weapons in an effort to stop the proliferation of unlicensed firearms on the island, about 950 kilometers south of Manila.

“We don’t want illegal drugs on the street and I have given orders to the police to arrest all those engaged in illegal drugs or those using these drugs. We also don’t want the proliferation of illegal weapons in this beautiful island,” he told the Mindanao Examiner.

Although drug use in taboo in this largely Muslims island, many young people are hooked in methamphetamine hydrochloride, popularly known as “ice,” and marijuana cigarettes.

Tan ordered the police to arrest those selling drugs. Most of the drugs come from nearby Zamboanga City.

He also ordered the dismantling of military checkpoints in Jolo and instead put flowers and other ornamentals that would beautify the island. The huge presence of armed soldiers around and checkpoints and roadblocks has made Jolo a virtual garrison.

Policemen were also told to be courteous and smile every time they speak to civilians, especially travelers or tourists. (Mindanao Examiner)

The University of St. Andrews website has this tool called Face Transformer. Being the curious cat that I am, I uploaded the picture below. And several clicks later, the tool spat out transformed faces. I found it fun.


When I clicked on "Teenage," it's still the same picture. I guess this face is the face of a teenager. Thank you very much.
As a young child, daw.

As a young adult, I would look like this. Apparently, I would have gained some sagging cheeks. And I would need some botox.


I think this picture shows I would be a cute old lady. Haha. She kinda reminds me of the grandmothers in my extended family. My dad's brother would probably say this reminds me of one of his aunts.


Hehe, I look like Mah4l as a baby!!

I love my anime faces!! I have HUGE eyes! I tried another picture, and my anime face is basically the same. Wait, I can probably use this as an avatar.

This is the "Mucha" setting. I don't know what that means exactly, but I think she's pretty. (Alphonse Mucha?)

The "Boticelli" setting.

The "Modigliani" setting.


If I were "Caucasian"...


If I were male... It's weird though because that face does not look masculine. It looks like my face on some days. LOL.

If I were East Asian... I find this funny because this face seems so familiar.

The "Afro-Caribbean" setting...

If I were an ape-woman...

And the winner.... *ta da* If I get drunk!

Matthew 25: 1-13 1 Thes 4:1-8/Ps 97/Mt 25:1-13 …the kingdom of heaven will be like ten virgins who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom. Five of them were foolish and five were wise. (Mt. 25:1-2) Keep watch, we do not know the hour The Bridegroom comes, and lamps grow dim; He comes in majesty and pow’r, Have we [...]

UNITED NATIONS - Sri Lanka, which is fighting a longstanding insurgency against Tamil separatists, is fast gaining notoriety as "one of the world's worst places" both for journalists and humanitarian aid workers -- due primarily to a rising death toll and veiled threats from government and paramilitary forces in the country.

At least four international non-governmental organisations monitoring the media -- the Committee to Protect Journalists, the International Press Institute, Reporters Sans Frontieres (RSF) and the International Federation of Journalists -- have singled out Sri Lanka as "deadly" for journalists.

"Journalists have been victims of murders, threats, kidnappings and censorship," said RSF in a report released last week.

An RSF fact-finding team specifically zeroed in on "the isolated, Tamil-populated Jaffna peninsula" where there have been "grave press freedom violations".

In 2006, described as "the most savage year for journalists and news media workers", the most dangerous place was Iraq where 46 newsmen were killed, followed by the Philippines (10), Mexico (seven), Sri Lanka (five) and Pakistan (four).

Last week, the consulting editor at the Sri Lanka Sunday Times, Iqbal Athas, was threatened and harassed for a series of articles he wrote detailing a corruption-ridden multi-million-dollar government deal involving the purchase of fighter planes from Ukraine.

Recounting the latest incident, Athas told IPS that a person purporting to be a retired Air Force officer walked into the Wijeya Newspapers Ltd., the publishers of the Sunday Times and several other publications in the native language Sinhala, and threatened the staff.

The visitor met the English-to-Sinhala translator, W.D. Gunaratne, and warned him not to translate any of Athas's articles into the local language newspaper (which has a larger readership than English language newspapers in Sri Lanka).

"He warned Gunaratne he would have to face the consequences if that happened," said Athas, who is also a military correspondent for the London-based Jane's Defence Weekly.

The visitor also warned that if Athas "does not give up his job and leave Sri Lanka within three months", he would meet the same fate that befell Tamil journalists, most of whom were killed by "unknown gunmen".

The Committee to Protect Journalists' Abi Wright told IPS that her organisation "is alarmed by the grave threats facing veteran journalist Iqbal Athas, who has come under extraordinary pressures following his investigations into irregularities surrounding a 2006 deal to purchase MiG-27 fighter jets from Ukraine".

She said Athas has already told CPJ that over the past two weeks-- when his security detail was abruptly withdrawn by the government after the publication of his articles about the deal-- he has been harassed and followed by unknown persons. She said Athas fears for his life and for the safety of his family.

"CPJ calls on the Sri Lankan government to act immediately to provide adequate security and ensure the safety of Iqbal Athas," Wright added.

She said that Athas is well-known as the defence columnist for the Sunday Times of Sri Lanka and a frequent contributor to international media outlets, including Cable News Network, Jane's Defence Weekly and the Times of London. He also received CPJs International Press Freedom Award in 1994.

Wright said CPJ will be sending a letter of protest to Sri Lankan President Mahinda Rajapakse later this week.

The Colombo-based Free Media Movement (FMM) has already expressed its "grave concern regarding the safety and security of senior English language journalist Mr. Iqbal Athas."

"As senior Defence columnist for the Sunday Times, in the past months, Mr. Athas has been responsible for a series of articles on the irregularities in procurement of MIG aircraft for the security forces, from a company based in Ukraine," FMM said in a statement released Monday.

Referring to the continued threats to Athas and his family, FMM said: "In a context in which there have been repeated attacks and harassment of journalists and media persons in Sri Lanka in the past months, the Free Media Movement is convinced that there is a very real basis for Mr. Athas fears regarding his security."

"We call on the president, as minister of defence, to take all steps necessary to provide Mr. Athas with adequate security immediately. Failure to do so will only provide yet another indication of the lack of concern on the part of the government for the safety and security of media personnel in Sri Lanka."

Meanwhile, after a recent visit to Sri Lanka, the U.N. under-secretary-general for humanitarian affairs described the Indian Ocean island nation as "one of the most dangerous places" for aid workers, second only to Afghanistan.

Addressing a meeting of the Security Council in June, John Holmes said that in 2006, 24 aid workers were killed in Sri Lanka, including 17 from Action Contre Le Faim, "in a single horrifying act."

The perpetrators of these and similar attacks -- including the killing of two Red Cross workers in a Palestinian refugee camp in Lebanon and the murder of a Caritas International aid worker in Darfur, Sudan -- "are yet to be brought to account," Holmes said.

He said that civilians are too often deliberately targeted to create a climate of fear and to destabilise populations.

Holmes also pointed out that countries as far apart as Sri Lanka and Colombia were experiencing assassinations, disappearances and other violations of international humanitarian law and human rights law.

"In Sri Lanka, over 600,000 inhabitants of the Jaffna peninsula have faced shortages of basic necessities since August of last year when the government and the LTTE restricted access to the peninsula by road and by sea respectively," Holmes continued.

Implying Sri Lanka was virtually culpable of war crimes, he added: "Killing humanitarian staff and arbitrarily denying access violates international humanitarian law."

Ambassador John McNee of Canada placed Sri Lanka in the company of Sudan, Afghanistan, Iraq, northern Uganda, Lebanon and Somalia as countries that have failed to provide protection to civilians in war zones.

"Girls and boys are recruited as combatants; civilians become unwitting targets of suicide bombers; families are displaced from their homes; sexual violence is a deliberate weapon of war; and civilian infrastructure and economies are often shattered," McNee said.

The consequences of these actions play themselves out daily, he pointed out, in countries ranging from Sudan and Afghanistan to Somalia and Sri Lanka. (IPS/Thalif Deen)

It is a dance-drama musicale play that has earned critical acclaim when it was first performed at the Music Museum, a play suited for intermediate, high school and college students although its appeal is ageless and universal.

"Alamat" is a story conceptualized by Patrick Almaden. It was originally staged at the Makati Parks and Garden Amphitheatre to critically acclaimed performances.

It is said that it deserves a legitimate venue since it has a very good production and literary values. Moreover, it aims at giving importance to nature as an integral part of man's existence.

The 2nd run takes in Creative Directors Agnes Macabuhay- Medina and Osler Ladia who conspired with Almaden to give the concept a more refreshing and novel treatment. The word surreal came about.

The likes of Salvador Dali & Magritte has inspired the artists to create the sets and costumes as something that happens only in the underworld. Strange as it may be, the play will feature characters with elements from nature but with influences of contemporary art and design.

The music, composed by Paulo Almaden will exhibit acoustic sounds interspersed with ethnicity to create a fusion of music and art that make up the production. The dances, blocking, and movements are surreal as well, with movements taken from nature and animal entities.

Human elements will be supplied by Daniel and his friends, lost in the forest, where they will experience unexplained happenings around Orkidya.

The script, spiced with contemporary lingo, will also present contrast to the language of the lower gods in their domain, with rich, almost poetic candor.

The concept will enable the audience to lose themselves in enchantment as they realized the value of the environment, the importance of human life and respect for other forms of life, whether spiritual or material.

Alamat takes the centestage again this October 2007 at the Music Museum.

For details pls. call 0918-2542354 and look for "Tope". You may also visit www.aghamtheatrecompany.multiply.com (Christopher Navarra)

So Friday night, we headed down to the airport around 8:30 PM for our flight. Our flight was delayed by a few minutes so we ended up getting to LAX around 11:30 PM. Luckily, it was an uncrowded flight (everyone had A grouping) but we were able to ...

a friend of mine told me he was worried about this friend of his whose house got burned in a freak neighborhood fire. friend of his is a teacher somewhere in mindanao and he left his parents and younger siblings in cebu where the fire took place. the house is all theyve got, it was [...]

I wish I could call the entire trip a break, but work punctuates. Nevertheless, this will be one of the memorable trips to Mindanao despite the limited places I've gone to. The spectacular beach front of Medina. Duka Bay and it's hospitable owner, son of then vice president Pelaez. The sunrise viewed on the dungawan of the 1907 Fournier ancestral house. The old churches along the dreary winding roads. The night market in CDO divisoria (despite the torrential downpour halting what could have been a loud and merry night, I bought 3 shirts for 100 bucks). Another plane ride to Zamboanga, getting re-acquainted with Chavacano. The heaps and heaps of ukay-ukay and the infamous barter trade are too tempting not to splurge on. Perhaps, it could be any better but I guess I couldn't ask for more.

My daughter KC is a thirteen years old girl, who is so boyish. When one “compares” her to other cross culture youngsters (I mean Filipina-German offsprings) here, one would say she’s different because she doesn’t look girly at all with all those bling-blings and other fancy things. KC is not really a loner but she prefers to stay home and study or practice some soccer kicking techniques instead of hanging out with her friends/classmates. When I buy her a dress, you bet she’ll only wear it once and then dump/hide it later somewhere in the rearmost part of her closet. She’d rather wear wide t-shirts with jeans along with her favourite cappy. Other kids at her age, already have a boyfriend or let say they already know how to flirt. These girls do wear make-up and are fashion victims. I however has nothing against to that and besides, it is none of my business. And on the other hand, it is part of their growing process and kids grow up in invidual manner or ways. I came to mentioned this part because the mothers of these kids has no restraint to creticize the appearance of my daughter, and folks take note, they say it directly to my child when I am not beside her. It is not seldom that KC came to me crying. It hurt me as well but I can’t do anythingelse than to give her comfort. I think if people could just stop judging people by their looks, if they will try to look at the inside of a person instead, I am sure they would see something beautiful. For after all TRUE beauty lays in the inside. Isn’t it?

Well anyways, so much about that. I actually wanted to tell the world that the boyish girl whom people looked down is a gifted one. When KC was three, she already played soccer like adult. Now, she is a member of “LFSM Mädchen Fussball Mannschaft”. I don’t know the exact translation of this in english but it simply means that she became an official member of the girls soccer team. I may sound bragging, but tell you what? Their team is the best in NRW region. Last week (while I was playing teacher), she received a gold medal for individual performance.

KC’s talent is not only in sport but also in drawing. Her works got awards thus their school director told us to send her to the University of Art later when she finished Gymnasium (she’s on the 8th grade now).

That’s all well and good but KC has a very different aspiration. Her dream is to study medicine - specializing in pediatrics, because according to her…she wants to go with us when we retire in the Philippines. She said she will work there and help less fortunate children in Davao on her free time. I know that KC is indeed still very young to make such plans. What she has in mind now could change by the time she gets older. It could either become true or not, but what really counts at the moment is her thought of helping the needy children. God bless you my child, möge deine Träume wahr werden…

if you fight with reality, prepare to lose.

i woke up staring at myself at the huge life-sized mirror in my room. my messy, shoulder-length hair all over the place, and a gaunt, sickly body, i almost expected my eyes to turn white and paint the future.

there is only one kind of painting that i know; and that i do with words, not colors. and i cannot see the future; i just know how it turns out.

but unlike most people who find themselves trying to accept what has happened to them, i'm in the position where i have to accept something that is yet to happen; a curious fate i have found myself entangled in.

somebody said that we amble along in this life, doing our best, until our destinies are revealed to us. it's not a decree of heaven, nor is it solely a force of will, but the result of an intricate negotiation between both.

yet the urge to turn the tables against the future is strong; to overpower destiny with the sheer force of will, to prove one's humanity as being able to conquer anything it wants to, to echo the world's pronouncements that individuality is the yardstick that everything should be measured against; including the wrath of nature.

but then i would lose.

courage for those things that i can change, serenity for those that i cannot, and wisdom to know the difference. in my own universe, i will be a hero. i will accept my reality even if it means that i will lose myself.

but then i will win.

“On and on the rain will fall
Like tears from a star, like tears from a star
On and on the rain will say
How fragile we are, how fragile we are.”
                      ‘Fragile’ by Sting

***

“Mamaaaa…!” A girl in white was sobbing, while her mother’s casket was being lowered down to where it belongs, in the earth's bosom. I felt her pain and walked few steps away. I was getting misty eyed already.

***

“How is your kuya?” I sent a chat message to my niece, asking for an update on her elder brother who has been in the hospital since last week. “Still the same,” she replied, “the fever comes and goes. They say it's really like that for about five days.”

***

“Yo, baby is a pacman! I have to feed her every 1.5 hours.” This was just part of an SMS I got from my sis in Prague who recently gave birth to a baby girl.

***

Birth...death...sickness. We are fragile indeed.
      

Okay, i know its evident. This has been a very stagnant season for this niche of a once alive(?) being in this virtual world. I am sorry.* Personally, little has changed. Same disorganized materials coming through. Some documented, mostly imagined. I have thought more than enough, Sir Buhay and I have a lot of [...]

Must it be?

I suddenly found myself in the shoes of Doubting Thomas – taking his point on seeing and believing. It took me approximately five minutes to read and reread the message before my disarrayed cognizance was able to conclusively grasp what it was remarkably conveying, and only when my phone hanged out of flooding missives did I finally believe the news.

Apparently, you must’ve wondered (I don’t normally presume, but let this just be a given for now) or have been trying to decipher the enigmatic grammatical ribbits and riddles in my hiatal posts, just as how my friends have frequently asked the ins and outs of my forsaken musical bent. Well then, it’s high time to crack the codes, break my silence and play the music.

After being able to perambulate the red-carpeted hallways and finally receiving the much-awaited piece of paper bearing my name and degree, I have submitted myself and half of our batch to a certain didactic sanctuary where we have been construing medical and nursing tomes since March ‘til June, accompanied by cups of noodles and browns, siopao, and pot-luck lunch-ins (Ji-in’s crabs, my dad’s Bisaya adobo, Mark’s empanada and meringue, Lovely/Ate Tess’ paksiw, Sanchez’s hamonada, Cha-Cha’s kitchenomicas, and Joyce’s kiwis).

Not only that, ten days prior to the major juncture, had we gone uphill for intensive self-reviews. It was when we seriously burned brows (ten days, what have we?), established deeper friendship (talk about taking a bath with a friend), gained pounds (there’s gargantuan box of pizza every day, plus tumultuous supply of softdrinks and chicheryas) and rediscovered faith (the novenas we pray as a group every night). And I wouldn’t ever forget the fact that I screamed and cried when two of my friends dragged and carried me to the dreary, bloodcurdling room 215. The hullabaloo, you bet!

Then again, we were at the point of mild-to-moderate anxiety on the said day. I confess, I cried after the first day. Actually, we all did. I had to phone my mom to calm me down. It was toxic. You wouldn’t even know if you have a 50-50 chance of making it. The only consolation we had was while on the coaster and back, the heavens suddenly cried with us. Having known as such as a blessing, we heaved a sigh.

From where I sit now, I heave another sigh – not out of despair, but of sheer happiness and contentment – licensed and registered. And yet, after abandoning the black and white keys for so many years, I face them again while glancing on the note sheets upfront, and my fingers will struck three keys from F and seven notes from G, putting into melody Beethoven’s last quartet.

Muss es sein? Es muss sein! Es muss sein!

(Must it be? It must be! It must be!)

= = = = = = = =

Nightingale Memoirs: A must see 5-min crap vid

Roll Call of thank you's to the following:

Him Up Above - for answering our prayers and being there with us, as always

Dad ‘Ching – the one who keeps on reminding me to aim high
Mum ‘Ching –